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fire's a beautiful sound

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monday, february 15, 2010

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so, how was your valentine's day?

a) did you make it as romantic and selfless as you possibly could?

b) did you love him/her with every part of your being?

c) was it just another cookie cutter, going through the motions, valentine's day cliche, with a few bells and whistles to mask it?

i hope, for your sake, it was both a) and b)...

if you answered c), i sure hope you don't have any CD's in his truck, because i don't think you should wait around for 2 or 3 more years of abuse. (lol @danecook)

i feel like there's probably more people out there who actually answered c), rather than a) and b).

it seems pretty poor for me to think that, but unfortunately, it really seems like there's more couples out there settling for comforts' sake, than there are couples who are actually in love.

there's that word...

love.

it's tricky, isn't it?

i sorta feel like there's 3 stages of interpersonal love...

first comes lust - that initial sexual attraction.

second is attraction - more tricky, but it's like lust at a more individual level. more romantic. more commitment. how sweet?

then third is the attachment stage - which is where you find the people in long term relationships, marriages, etc. those couples who are best friends, who share almost everything in common, whose relationships continue to progress year by year and remain fresh and exciting.

to me, that's love...

progress.

if you've made your way through all three progressions, and you can't see yourself being with anyone else, you're probably well on your way to your "happily ever after" ending. that's love. congrats, jerks.

however, if you've made it all the way to the attachment stage, and your relationship is boring or par for the course, that's where it gets cloudy...are you still in love?

sure you've been together for 3 years, or whatever, maybe 8 or 9...but it can't just end there. you can't ultimately just settle for someone because you've been with them for a long time.

if it's not fresh and fun anymore, and it's become stagnant and "through the motions'ish", what's the point? because it's comfortable? that's weak.

but whatever...

i spent my valentine's day in a car, by myself, driving to calgary.

who am i to talk about love or give relationship advice?

i do know i've got a lot of love to give...but, unfortunately, it really does seem like nice guys finish last.

i guess i'll just keep waiting.

until then,

i love you.